4 years ago today

4 years ago this morning, I told my husband good-bye and have a great day and that I would see him when he was done with work.  I then went to work.  I never imagined seeing him around 4 pm at the hospital emergency room being prepared to be transported via life flight helicopter to a bigger hospital in a bigger city.  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine saying good-bye to his right hand that morning or to the man I had married as well.

4 years ago today our life changed forever.  My husband lost his right hand in a farm accident.  At that same time, even though I didn't realize it then, I lost the husband I knew and the person I was.  My life changed drastically as God used the tragic accident to mold my heart, soul, and mind into the person I am today.  God also used the accident to mold my dear husband into the person that he is today.  Without this experience, we wouldn't be who we are right now (even though we know God isn't finished with us yet) and we might not even still be together.

Do I wonder what life would be like had he not had the accident?  Yes.  However, I would never go back to that day and ask God to do it over again.  I look back and see the person I was and wonder how anyone could have lived with me, let alone been married to me.  I look back and see the person that my husband was and wonder why I married him and how I continued to love him during our first 23 months of togetherness.  We both have grown, and even though we both still have daily struggles, we both know that it is through God's grace and mercy that we make it through today and look forward to the prize at the end.

Today has been hard for me.  I really don't know why - it has been 4 years after all.  And "they" say it gets easier with time.  However, today is the day that life changed for us 4 years ago - the day I had to really turn my trust to the Lord to get me through each hour - each minute.  My dear husband is at work today, and my only prayer is that he has a good day filled with few frustrations due to not having a hand.

We told our "story" to a gal from where my husband works and it will be published this fall sometime in the Health Connect magazine that is sent all over the state.  I will see if I can reprint it here, just to have a copy of it.  I have read it and am brought to tears each time - it is so strange to read your story in words - especially on the anniversary of such a life changing experience.

I thank God for being in our lives and helping us to make it each day on this journey.  God truly knows what we need in our lives and will provide that in His way.  Thank you God for saving our marriage and for using this experience to mold us into who we are today - warriors for you!