Yes, the weekend blues have hit me. It has been a very interesting weekend at our house. On Friday afternoon, my dad and step-mom arrived for a weekend of re-wiring the upstairs. The goal was to get wire from the basement to the attic, and then from the attic down to what will be Blessing's new room, once it is finished being remodeled.
Well, before Mr. Tall got home my dad began questioning me. He is upset that I am a stay-at-home mom. He feels as if I am wasting my education and the money that I put into my education. He thinks that I should be working full time as a teacher and that we should be putting our kids into daycare. This was a tough blow, especially since it was a tough week of personally fighting with financial issues and the easy solve of going back to work.
As if that wasn't enough, he proceeded to give me a guilt trip on not attending every single family event that occurs down "home" and that the excuse of money being tight was not acceptable. According to him, we go to Des Moines all the time and are never at home. Any of you who know us, know that that is not the case. We hardly ever go to Des Moines or Ankeny any more (because of the distance and gas prices). We do most of our shopping closer to home, especially since Mr. Tall is in town almost every day.
Finally, he proceeded to make me feel as if I was a failure. I had e-mailed my step-mom back in December/January that I was pretty busy. I e-mailed her what my routine was and how things were shaping up around the house. In that e-mail, I also mentioned that I rest or take a nap almost every afternoon whenever Blessing goes down. My dad told me that I wasn't busy and that if I was, I wouldn't be able to take a nap every day. It was so hard to hear that.
I know that we are supposed to work at pleasing and gaining acceptance from our Father in Heaven, but what about from our Father here on earth - especially one that you look up to, respect, and want to please. How are we supposed to get over the fact that our father on earth doesn't agree with what we are doing, even though we know deep in our heart of hearts that our father in heaven does agree and is pleased by what we are doing? Where do we look for acceptance on earth - is encouragement from our friends enough, or do we need it from our parents too - the ones that have spent their whole lives raising us......
I love my father dearly and look up to him tremendously. I think that that is what is making these issues and his thoughts so tough for me to digest. I want to please him, while at the same time doing what I know is right in my heart. I know that it isn't easy and that things are going to be tough, but I feel as if my daughter has such a richer life (not with money) because I am staying home and raising her. I can't imagine having someone else raise her and our baby-to-be.
Needless to say, for that hour when my father was talking with me, I was defending my husband and my choices. I was trying to explain why we do the things we do and why we have made the decisions we have made. I was justifying every little thing that I do and that we have decided. It felt as if I was in a courtroom being closely examined for a crime I had committed.
On Saturday, I had a Pampered Chef show and then came home and scrapbooked while everyone else ran to Ames. Blessing napped during this time and I had some peace and quiet. The men then worked on the wiring and accomplished quite a bit...not as much as they had wanted to, but enough so we can keep working on the room and hopefully get it finished. Mr. Tall and I then went to a church Valentine's dinner. We enjoyed ourselves, but were disconnected and disjointed. I was struggling with the discussion with my father and Mr. Tall was struggling with the fact that things didn't go the way he wanted them. We got home from our date and our guests left. They wanted to beat the weather home and not risk it this morning.
Sunday came around and we made the trek to church, in the start of a mild blizzard. It was a small communion service with the singing of hymns, a communion meditation, and then prayer. It was a nice service, but the drive home was not so nice as the roads were completely covered and the wind was blowing snow and making visibility very limited. We made it safe and sound. Mr. Tall went back to work on the wiring and I hung out with Blessing and played. She stacked small wooden blocks 11 high this morning! Lunch then naps...Mr. Tall kept working. After naps, we played some more and then ate supper. Blessing took a bath and then went to bed. Almost time for us to retire for the night too.....
A couple of pictures from this weekend...
1) Blessing and grandma cuddling on the couch. Grandpa was running the vacuum and Blessing is afraid of vacuums. She typically cuddles with mommy while daddy is working, but this time, Grandma got the pleasure of the cuddle!
2) Blessing and grandpa reading books together. Blessing kept bringing grandpa books, and he kept reading them to her. It was such a beautiful sight - I couldn't pass up the photo, even though grandpa wasn't happy!