4 years ago today

4 years ago this morning, I told my husband good-bye and have a great day and that I would see him when he was done with work.  I then went to work.  I never imagined seeing him around 4 pm at the hospital emergency room being prepared to be transported via life flight helicopter to a bigger hospital in a bigger city.  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine saying good-bye to his right hand that morning or to the man I had married as well.

4 years ago today our life changed forever.  My husband lost his right hand in a farm accident.  At that same time, even though I didn't realize it then, I lost the husband I knew and the person I was.  My life changed drastically as God used the tragic accident to mold my heart, soul, and mind into the person I am today.  God also used the accident to mold my dear husband into the person that he is today.  Without this experience, we wouldn't be who we are right now (even though we know God isn't finished with us yet) and we might not even still be together.

Do I wonder what life would be like had he not had the accident?  Yes.  However, I would never go back to that day and ask God to do it over again.  I look back and see the person I was and wonder how anyone could have lived with me, let alone been married to me.  I look back and see the person that my husband was and wonder why I married him and how I continued to love him during our first 23 months of togetherness.  We both have grown, and even though we both still have daily struggles, we both know that it is through God's grace and mercy that we make it through today and look forward to the prize at the end.

Today has been hard for me.  I really don't know why - it has been 4 years after all.  And "they" say it gets easier with time.  However, today is the day that life changed for us 4 years ago - the day I had to really turn my trust to the Lord to get me through each hour - each minute.  My dear husband is at work today, and my only prayer is that he has a good day filled with few frustrations due to not having a hand.

We told our "story" to a gal from where my husband works and it will be published this fall sometime in the Health Connect magazine that is sent all over the state.  I will see if I can reprint it here, just to have a copy of it.  I have read it and am brought to tears each time - it is so strange to read your story in words - especially on the anniversary of such a life changing experience.

I thank God for being in our lives and helping us to make it each day on this journey.  God truly knows what we need in our lives and will provide that in His way.  Thank you God for saving our marriage and for using this experience to mold us into who we are today - warriors for you!

Update on Gestational Diabetes Test

What a week!  Even though I had a great appointment last Friday, I have felt the stress of uncertain times for the past week.  Not knowing what comes after a failed gestational diabetes (GD) test put me in a little bit of a tailspin.  Plus, thinking about the social stigma that comes with the word diabetes had me all frustrated and upset.  But, God works for the good of those who love Him, and He has worked good for me!

I can honestly say that this is the first day in a few weeks that I have been up willingly without taking a nap.  Currently, I don't feel like I am going to throw up (my stomach is actually growling at me) and I have energy - at least a little.  Now, it is only the first day, but I am thinking positively!

So, Friday the call came saying I had a positive test for GD and I had to wait until Monday to call back.  So, Monday morning, I called and learned that the normal ranges for the GD test are below 140.  My number was 181!  A bit high, ok, a lot high!  Anyway, I was hoping to take the 3 hour test on Tuesday and have it over and done with.  The lab personnel informed me that I had to follow a special diet for 3 days before the test and that they would put the diet in the mail (as I was unwilling to drive the 32 miles one way just to pick it up).  Anyway, I got the diet in the mail on Tuesday and had spoken with a good friend on Monday who had GD during her last pregnancy.  She spiked interest in me and I began researching.  After looking at the diet, and the instructions for the 3 hour test, I realized I was not eating enough food during the day.  Research told me two things:

1) With a 1-hour number above 180, all I would technically need would be a fasting blood glucose level to confirm a positive GD diagnosis.

2) If unable to follow the "diet," results would be skewed and would either end up in a false positive or a false negative.

I called my doctor's nurse on Tuesday, armed with knowledge.  Knowledge is power, right!?!  So, after presenting my case, she spoke with the doctor and together the 3 of us agreed that the 3 hour test would be unnecessary.  The agreement is that I will say I have GD and follow those guidelines.  I was honestly at peace with the situation.  So...that leads me to today.

I received a call this morning asking if I could make a 10:30 appointment to meet with a registered dietitian to go over everything related and required with GD.  I made the appointment, received education, and came home.  The dietitian said that new protocol is that if you fail 1 test, you have GD and a 2nd test is not needed!  I had made a good decision!  The OB clinic that I go to does not yet follow this protocol.  

A couple of interesting facts:

1) Insulin requirements during pregnancy are usually 3 times more than what is needed normally.  GD results when insulin production does not keep up with what is required.

2) GD occurs during pregnancy only.  It usually disappears following delivery.  However, there is an increased risk of developing diabetes later in life, so special screenings are done on a yearly basis.

3) GD affects people of all shapes and sizes.  Overweight, thin, tall, short - you name it!

4)  Treatment of GD is more for the health and safety of the babies than for the mother.  It is amazing how God created tiny little beings to know when they need to produce their own insulin to fight high glucose levels - even only at 25 weeks gestation!

So, the journey continues.  I press on with the prize at the end being a safe delivery of our twins. I press on knowing some of the social stigma that will come at me from people I know and people I don't know.  However, I also press on knowing that the end result is two healthy babies to care for, nurture, and love all the rest of life!

I will try to update on my progress sometime in the next couple weeks.  Hopefully, I will be feeling better!

Update and Prayers

I found out this afternoon via a message on my voicemail that I failed my 1 hour blood glucose test. This means there is a possibility that I have gestational diabetes.  In order to find out, I have to drink double the solution and have a 3-hour blood glucose test.  From what I understand (research wise as I haven't talked with my dr's office yet), I will have 4 blood draws - one before the solution, then one every hour for the next 3 hours.  

Please pray that this test comes back normal!  I am not gaining much weight the way it is and am struggling with eating as I am not feeling well.  I am lucky if I can get one meal to stay down and even then it isn't very much because of all the pressure on my tummy! 

I will update again after I have the 3-hour test - hopefully the first part of next week!  Also, no results yet on my hemoglobin (iron level)...hopefully, that will be normal - otherwise adding vitamins or even straight iron tablets will have to happen - and with how I am feeling, it could be interesting!

Thanks and will chat soon!

The long awaited update - 24 wks 1 day

It has been a month since I last posted and truly not much has changed.  I did have a doctor's appointment today and everything is going excellent - status quo!

It was great to be able to see the babies and hear the heartbeats again - oh so reassuring!

Baby A (on the bottom) -

Heartbeat - 143

Approximate weight - 1 pound 12 ounces (69th percentile) a gain of 14 ounces from last month

Measuring - 25 weeks 4 days

Baby B (on the top) -

Heartbeat - 130

Approximate weight - 1 pound 14 ounces (77th percentile) a gain of 1 pound from last month

Measuring - 25 weeks 2 days

As for me - blood pressure was 110/78 (very good) and urine cultures were fine.  Cervical measurements showed that there is less than a 5% chance that I will go into preterm labor before 32 weeks.  After 32 weeks, according to my doctor, the only risk is if my water breaks, I start spotting, or the babies start showing signs of distress.  So, it is just one appoitment and one day at a time.

Basically, everybody is doing well. I only gained two pounds during the last month, which my doctor was still pleased with.  But, as you can tell, it was all baby weight, minus 2 ounces.  She would like to see a little more weight gain, but isn't too worried at this point in time, especially with how well the babies are growing! 

I did do my glucose tolerance test (gestational diabetes) today as well as some other blood work. 

I will update more later, just wanted to get the current information about the babies out there!