The daily grind

The Christmas season is behind us. We are starting a New Year. The daily grind is beginning - or is it?

Good news is brimming around here. We are going to have another baby! About 3 weeks ago I had to take a 2 hour trip heading north of where we live to "interview" for a contract position. The girls rode with me and on the way home (as it was noon) we grabbed McDonalds. We ate and when I finished I immediately felt nauseated. Suddenly, it hit me. I am pregnant. Sure enough, the test that day was a faint positive and the one 3 days later was an immediate positive. So, the daily grind begins...

What is the daily grind? Well, before conceiving, it was seeing my husband off to work, daily bible studies, laundry caught up and maintained, the house picked up and clean (most of the time), meals planned and prepared for the family, grocery shopping done with by myself with the children, paperwork taken care of, things kept in order, etc. Things were moving along nicely and we had definitely hit a routine that was working for us. My dear husband was spoiled beyond belief, but he should be. He sacrifices every day for his girls by leaving the house and going to work. He leaves the security of a home and goes into the field to minister constantly.

Now what is the daily grind? Well, it consists of me spending several hours flat on my back trying not to run to the bathroom or grab the bucket. It consists of laundry mostly being washed and dried but not folded or put away. It consists of dishes piling up until I can't stand it any longer and unload then reload the dishwasher. It consists of a constant messy house. It consists of me maybe cooking something - but mostly trying to get my husband to cook. It consists of several times of vomiting and barely feeling as if my children are taken care of.

I am extremely ill when I am pregnant and having been in this daily grind for 3 weeks, am really burning out and starting to tire. The feelings of worthlessness, uselessness, uncaring, etc. are sneaking into my thinking. The questioning of myself is beginning with questions such as "Why did I want to do this again?" or "Why can't I be "normal"?" or just plain "Why God? Why does this have to be so miserable?" Even though there is an end in sight (33 weeks) it still seems like an eternity until the end.

So, the daily grind is grinding down, pushing out, and stretching me in so many ways. It is truly making me look to Jesus for strength, encouragement, and the motivation to keep on keeping on. Some days it requires just taking a deep breath and tackling something even though I know I will vomit before, during, after or all 3 times.

In the end, I will cherish the little miracle that finally arrives. In my mind, each of my children are miracles because of what I have to endure to have children.

Give your children extra love today and thank God for healthy pregnancies and the ability to continue with "the daily grind."