Encouraged

The past three weeks have been a challenge as I have been focused on the "what ifs" and the "future". This has been so overwhelming as I wonder several things including how are we going to manage two babies, am I going to have enough love for two babies, and the big question "how are we going to afford two babies at once". Of course, many more thoughts pass through my mind including what happens if I go on bed rest, how am I going to handle my other two children, what will I do if I go into labor, and the crazy ones like I wonder how big I will get, I wonder if I will be able to walk or get our of a chair, etc. All of these thoughts were weighing me down and causing me to worry and fret.

Besides beginning to read the book, Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George, for women's sunday school class, I have been faithful in praying and giving all my worries and struggles over to God. While being faithful and obedient in handing over todays worries and preparing for the future worries, I have realized how truly blessed we are and have been. I have been really encouraged by things that have been taking place. I wanted to share some of these blessings, not because I want to brag, but because I want to have them written down where I can look back and see them in relationship to this current journey and as a reminder on those tough days.

So, I hope you are encouraged as much as I have been with this list of blessings...(in no particular order)

*A good friend purchased a box and a bag of pampers swaddler newborn diapers to "get us started" in collecting diapers

*A good friend has started collecting duplicate items for me including allowing us to use her infant car seat, her swing, her bouncer, and a second boppy pillow plus she is still looking for other items

*A good friend is allowing me to borrow a large tote of maternity clothes which are already being put to good use!

*A family from church has "adopted one of our babies bums" as they put it, meaning they are going to try to keep up with diapers for one of our babies for the first year

*A member from our church approached me and stated that he/she had been prompted before Christmas to reach out to us, but didn't obey for awhile, and finally decided that she had better. She gave us an envelope with a significant amount of money in it. We will not have to worry about gas for the van for approximately a month (depending on the amount of travel we have to do)

*Another member of the church e-mailed and wants to help by providing a date night for my husband and I and possibly some cleaning time (she offered meals but I am actually managing in that area)

*The former renters of where we lived felt prompted by God and provided my way to go to a woman's retreat on February 5 and 6 in Ames and my husband watched the children so I could be recharged

*A local mother of twins and a church member who has twins has offered words of encouragement and support

*I called a church member to check in and make sure she was doing well and she encouraged me more than I feel I encouraged her

*All the snow we have gotten has been pushed away and our driveway is driveable

*My dear husband is switching positions where he works and is receiving a significant pay raise and more time here at home with working 4 10 hour days instead of 5 8 hour days

I am sure there are many others, but these are the ones that have happened in the last couple of weeks that really stick out in my mind.

It truly is amazing how God works and how when I am feeling challenged in my faith and questioning things, He finds a way to show me "who is boss." It doesn't always take big blessings like these to make me see "who is boss." Sometimes it is just a prompt to read a bible passage or the ability to bless someone else and see their reaction. Sometimes it is just getting on my knees. However, this time God knew what I needed for encouragement and provided. I have given Him my worries and know that twins is a part of his big plan and purpose. Is it still overwhelming, oh yes, but manageable and not so burdening. God is good!!!

Be encouraged, I am!

Pregnancy lay-out

I have decided to document various portions of this pregnancy. Many reasons exist, the main one being so I can look back and see God's provision and blessing through out. The mere fact that we are having twins is challenging my faith - but in a good way. I truly believe that God has a plan and a purpose, it is just a matter of him revealing that to us!

I had my first "official" OB appointment today. I was actually able to have a wonderful conversation with my doctor. She just has a way of easing my mind and reassuring me that things will be ok. Even when I was sobbing in her office before our 2nd was born because our baby was breech and I was unable to do a VBAC, she calmed my mind and eased my fears. I am so thankful to God for doctors like that.

So, the lay of the pregnancy, so to speak. The doctor did what she had to and we had a conversation of truly how high risk of a pregnancy is this. Since I have had 2 previous C-sections and have an abundance of scar tissue (anybody want some?), she said it is not completely high risk, but not a normal pregnancy either, due to having twins. She said she would be more concerned if this was my 4th, 5th, or 6th c-section. However, she did say that there is a risk. So, the plan is as follows:

Normal routine blood tests, glucose screenings, etc. will occur just like with a singleton pregnancy. The difference is going to come in how closely they monitor the babies and my body. I will have an ultrasound the next 3 visits, including a check of my cervix to determine how high of a risk I am for preterm labor. I laughed at the doctor and told her I have never gone into labor with my other two kids....she laughed at me and said God has a way of making things happen. Anyway, she said if everything looks good, then we can all relax a little.

The next visit is actually not until March 17. At this time, I will be 16w6d along. The ultrasound tech requested a little longer time between this visit and the next so she could get better pictures of development. After that, I will probably go back to normal 4 week visits. It definitely seems like an eternity - another faith test from God!

So, the doctor said then, that once I get to 30 weeks, we will do an ultrasound every 2 weeks. At around 34 weeks, she will start doing non-stress tests either weekly or bi-weekly depending on how I am feeling and doing. She said that this is just precaution on her end to make sure that the babies are both doing well in the womb. She also said that ultrasounds will be done as needed if the tests show any abnormal results.

Finally, we discussed a delivery date, pending everything goes as planned. She told most twins are delivered between 36 and 38 weeks. However, if the mom is doing well, she likes to go closer to 39 weeks. I immediately told her that I wanted to wait until August as my other two precious daughters have July birthdays. She laughed and said no problem. So, the projected delivery date will be August 17, 2010. Just typing that excites me! God truly is already working on my heart to prepare me for the arrival of my two little miracles.

God is also working on my heart to just help me to trust Him more and not worry or fret about the future. I have to lean on Him on a daily basis and take one day at a time. God is good! Like I said, there is a plan and a purpose for my life and my families life. How exciting to walk through it. How scary at the same time! :-)

Finally, I had an ultrasound today as well to check for heartbeats. The doctor couldn't find them with the doppler, which she warned me about before trying. So, baby A's heartbeat is 150 and baby B's heartbeat is 158. So, they are closer together now!

Well, look for more updates in the future. I can't wait to see how God continues to prepare my heart and the hearts of my family! God is so good!